Maybe running is the answer. Here again you can run away instead of to, but it all depends on circumstance and context.

The sense I have these days is that life is too short to want and to want and to want but to stand still and wait for what you want. Life doesn't run toward you, but rather, you run toward it and face it head on. This is how we move. We move in skips, leaps, jumps, and when we need to, we move fast - we run and we chase.

We are too old now for hide and seek, as I may have said already, so it's time to seek and to seek, that is to go and to find what it is exactly that we want.

I have little if any time for people who don't know what they want. I'm getting bored. I'm bored with indecision. Decisive action is necessary - I'm bored. I'm tired of inaction. I started this blog as a sort of call to arms, not to just write, because i think writing does and can change the world (this i say as a writer and a professor), but as a call to actually live in the Now. It's high time we stopped worry about moral absolutes in a world where nothing is black and white, where everything is all shades of grey - and we live in that grey, and it's high time we grew comfortable with it, because ultimately, we have been here long enough. So what are you going to do about it? A skip? Run? Some movement anyway, however small - maybe toward a lover, or would be, maybe to requite, but whatever you do - i'm all for it.

Inaction and apathy wear thin and have grown boring, even to this GenXer.

why un petit-saut

All it takes is one little skip toward and you are there - together. The question, Who will take the first move?

Of course, it could easily be a step away, and this I know too well. It could even be in the same day - or two days. You could make two moves - one to, and then a sudden about face. Love is unpredictable like that. You move closer - un petit-saut. One day it is all tacit, ainsi-dire you think. He writes, "Did I understand about the... I think I did, but I...." And you write, "Absolutely, resolutey..."

When you meet of course, more is on the line, but that's okay because the main thing you learn in life is that virtue is your own and that at the end of the day, it is you that you must live with. That life is not black or white, but rather shades of endless grey. There is no absolute Right or Wrong.

Un petit-saut is not wrong - not toward. Is it wrong then to take a little step away? Does it hurt? Yes, that hurts. Is it wrong to hurt? It is wrong to hurt with intent. If your intent is to hurt then yes, I would say that is wrong. If you are wreckless with another's feelings then yes, you pretty much suck and you can take your easy virtue and your mid-life crisis and go somewhere else and get lost in your shades of grey because really, you do not see shades of grey; you see only Black and White and Should and Ought and the Society for the Prevention of Vice and you are mute and speechless and have these aphasias that leave you speechless.

Alll of these leaves you then unable to take that petit-saut. You may get close - you may sit close. You will go out of your way even to be closer, arranging chairs and places at the table, lagging behind the others, wishing to be alone, sending signs, sending mixed signals - you play hide and seek, you play hide and hide, when all I will play at this juncture is seek and seek.

Life is too short for this now. If you must take a skip, then go one way or the other: un petit-saut away, or un petit-saut to - but please, do not just stand there mute with your palms limply at your side. It makes both of us too pathetic, and if you will not move, then baby, I will.